WAHM Tips: How to stop interruptions when you work at home
How to stop interruptions when you work at home
Ask any WAHM {Work At Home Mum} to name their biggest annoyance and you’ll invariably get:
“constant interruptions from family and friends who don’t understand what I’m trying to do.”
Remember the last time you were right in the middle of being super productive on a new exciting project and a friend or relative pops round for a chat.
Not only have you lost you focus, but your whole planned schedule for the day has gone. You don't want to be rude, but if you stop now, you'll only have to get back to it once the kids have gone to bed tonight. There goes another relaxing evening!
They just didn't get it!
When I first started working from home, my family and friends just didn't get that I was doing my job. They seemed to think that because I was at home, I was available to them.
They would often pop round for a coffee without calling first and be rather peeved when they found me too busy.
Everything came to a head one afternoon when a friend arrived unannounced while I was on a call to a corporate client.
They proceeded to ring the bell and bang on the door because they could see I was home. When I finally answered the door they accused me of being rude because I'd left them waiting on the doorstep.
A matter of perspective
If you're struggling with this challenge too and just don't feel like you can do anything, I have a suggestion that may help put things into perspective.
Imagine that you worked in an office or shop, was a teacher or doctor or any other profession you can think of.
Now imagine your friends and family just turning up whenever they felt like for a chat and a cuppa.
See where I'm going with this?
It just wouldn't happen, would it? They wouldn't dream of coming to your work place and disrupting your day like that.
So, what's the difference?
I think that it's the formality of a workplace and the informality of working from home. There is a respect and appreciation for a 'place of work' that doesn't exist 'at home'.
And so, we need to create and hold that structure and we do that by putting boundaries in place.
Putting boundaries in place
Although I'd explained over and over that I was working at home and I wasn't able to see them, my friends and family just didn't seem to be getting the message.
I realised that I had to be a lot more assertive with them, to break through that belief that my business wasn't as important or deserving of respect as a 'proper company or organisation'.
The Not Now but When Technique
I tried a few different things {I suggest you do the same as it may take a few tries to get the result you want} until I found one that really worked for me.
It's called the ‘Not Now but When’ technique because you start by stating that you can't see them/talk/have coffee NOW, but then let them know WHEN you can.
The trick is, not to even start a conversation - but just state your position.
Here's an example:
On opening the door say: “This is a bad time, but I’ll be free after 6, see you then.”
or
“Can’t talk now, but let’s do lunch, I’ll come to you at 12.30.”
Have a play with the wording until you're happy with it and practise it often in the mirror.
I also asked my other biz mums what they do
I have a friend who makes wedding invitations. When she has a large order in she can be working around the clock, but this doesn't seem to stop her family and friends from just popping in for a coffee and a chat.
She made a sign for the door that says:
"You can make your own coffee and talk to me while I get this order finished, but I won't be stopping to entertain you - AS I'M WORKING!!".
I think they've got the message 🙂
Your turn:
So, how do you deal with interruptions when working from home?
Please share in the comments. Your ideas could really help another biz mum. Thank you for being here,
Heather x
WAHM TIPS: Every week we bring you a tip to help ease the stress of working from home. It may be a technique for managing time better, being more productive, achieving work-life balance or just getting through the day with your sanity intact. CONTACT ME with your own WAHM tips and get yourself featured on the blog.
Hi Heather,
Your friends technique of putting up a sign is brilliant !!
I like the “not now but when” idea as that’s something I sometimes struggle with when friends call. I work at home (not a mom though) and even now, after years of running my own business, one or 2 still see it as “not a real job”, I sense… boundary time!
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Tracey,
That’s exactly it! They don’t see it as a ‘real job’, just because you don’t go to an office, it mustn’t be important lol.
Have a go with the “not now but when” technique and let me know how it goes.
Heather x
I used to have the same problem, Heather. It literally took YEARS for me to get my point across that I was working. People would stop by all the time, call me and ask for favors (such as picking up their kids), and stuff like that. Eventually everyone got the message, some a lot sooner than others. Nowadays I hardly ever get interrupted. It’s a great thing! You definitely have to be forceful with your message sometimes. Sad but true.
Deb Augur recently posted..Fun Friday- Virtual Karaoke Event!
Deb,
You’re so right – we really have to be forceful with our message and keep thinking – they wouldn’t turn up to your place of work and just expect you to drop everything and hang out with them – would they? lol.
Hx
What a wonderful post! While I’m not a Mom (though sometimes I feel like one, *snorts), I have been working at home full-time for going on 5 years, and interruptions are seriously the most infuriating challenge EVER. Friends and family think it’s not a big deal when they pop in for a few minutes, but a few minutes here and there really add up after a while. I purposely don’t add up the time that interrupations take up, because I think they would add up to just enough time for a vacation. 🙂
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Hi Krissy and welcome,
Thanks for your lovely compliment about my post.
You made me giggle when you said all those interruptions could add up to enough time for a vacation ~ you’re right! They probably could lol.
I think that’s the problem with a lot of ‘visitors’ – they imagine that five minutes won’t make a difference, but if you get 3 or 4 visitors in one day, it can really break your concentration.
And I think, it’s not just that you are getting interrupted, it’s the fact that people aren’t taking your seriously at your profession. It’s disrespectful and says “Oh, it’s not a proper job” or “You weren’t doing anything important” and that can be so annoying.
Not only have you got to do your work – but also convince others that it really is work lol.
Heather x
Great article, yet again, Heather! Perfect timing as we go into the Easter holidays. The one thing I find very trick still is when friends pop in for a cup of tea. My politeness prevents me from sending them away, but it is very difficult especially when you mid a very productive flow.
Nicky Kriel recently posted..How to Create Twitter Lists
We are too polite aren’t we Nicky?
It’s really nice of people to drop by, but they wouldn’t do it if we were more assertive.
You’ll have to get a sign lol.
“Genius in mid flow! Call back later :-)”
Heather x
Hi Heather,
For me, the “telephone” is the problem and the source of the majority of interruptions. It used to be my kiddos a few years back, but my youngest are now in their late teens. Amen! I survived. 🙂
I keep my answer machine on while I’m working but my phone doesn’t have a feature where I can turn the ringer off (don’t ask — it’s old). So I hear the blinking thing ringing all day long. What gets my goat is the family members, co-workers, or friends who are calling are MORE than aware of my schedule. As you know, I work both inside the home and in the offline world. So my time to get work done at home is limited and very precious to me. Every minute matters.
I’ve tried my level best to set boundaries and I’ve asked people not to ring me up on certain days at certain times. For the most part, that request gets ignored. I’m considering sending out a little note via email on Sunday evenings with my upcoming “weekly work schedule” and highlight times throughout the week I’m available to chat.
Maybe if I send it out enough times, they’ll get the hint! 😉
Thanks for another great post.
Melanie Kissell @SoloMompreneur recently posted..“F” is for Friday and Fun and Four-legged Furry Friends
Melanie,
I love your solution – a weekly work schedule email. Then they could book appointments, that would make things so much easier.
It really isn’t cool, or fair to interrupt you when you only have a certain amount of time to get everything done.
It seems that it isn’t just work at home mums that have the problem of boundaries though. My daughter was off school sick and she got a call from a classmate working on a group project.
I couldn’t believe it and when I told the girl that Zoe was sick her response was “Yes, I know! Could you just put her on the phone, I need to talk to her about this project?” I was aghast and said “I’m sorry, she can’t come to the phone because she is OFF SICK”, the reply “But I NEED to speak to her!”.
She just wouldn’t accept that, firstly, she couldn’t speak to Zoe and, secondly, that there was anything wrong with calling her when she was off sick.
I made a complaint to the school saying that a pupil had called us on her mobile phone during a lesson. I explained that my daughter was off school ill and was in bed and didn’t need to be stressed and worried about school work.
I also thought that the teacher needed to know that her pupils were using their mobile phones in her class to call their friends.
Turns out the teacher had sanctioned it!!
I received a message from her later that day saying that she was sorry if there was some confusion but that she had given permission for the call because they felt it was necessary to get Zoe’s input on the project.
Even she didn’t see what was NOT RIGHT with that!!!!!!
So, I guess we need to just keep reminding people when they push those boundaries (or step right over them LOL).
Hx
I just love that sign, reminds me of friends that we sometimes stay with- the first time- we were shown where everything was to make breakfast etc. we were welcome , but we were not going to be waited on or welcomed.
Yes WAH is a challenge I find for family and friends who have JOBs
love Suzie♡♡
Suzie Cheel recently posted..Are You Shining Your Light Prescription 3
Hee, hee – love that Suzie!
Reminds me of when Zoe was first born and we got lots of visitors. I just wasn’t able to ‘entertain’ them – so they were told to make themselves a cuppa and even push the hoover around if they fancied lol.
Heather xx
I had the toughest time ‘training’ my family when I started working at home. To me, I needed to be disciplined and work meant work!
I was being asked to help with hanging a shelf, or get an opinion on curtains, etc. It was as if work meant nothing, and I was on vacation!
I needed to reconfirm and reconfirm and reconfirm that I was working. Soon enough, everyone learned that I was working 🙂
Be Well.
Paul.
http://www.AllAboutGratitude.com
Paul Taubman recently posted..Express Your Gratitude and Handle Your Anger At Home
Paul,
You’re absolutely spot on – it is like training them.
I really relate to you saying that other people viewed you as being on vacation.
Well done you – for just keeping on reconfirming UNTIL they got the message – yay!!
🙂
Heather x
I have a sign that says ‘Just because I’m home it doesn’t mean I’m not at work’
Kids know that it means mums around but is not the entertainment for the day.
I have it in sight of the front door when I am working too so if friends/neighbours see it they know they have already wasted my work time and it had better be good. Also feels good tapping the sign and shutting the door to cold callers 😉
Sign goes away when I am ‘home home’ IYSWIM
Sue,
I love that ~ getting the message across but with some humour often is the best way to do it. And so useful for cold callers – well done you!
Heather x
I use signs on my office door when I’m doing things that can’t be interrupted (like coaching people or making videos). I let my answering machine take all of my calls and I return them when I’m able to (my friends and family know this and I have a method set up with my family members if they need to speak with me right away). I schedule most things. And I’m very particular about staying focused on what I’m doing. I do like to be available for things – – I’m working at home partly so I am more available for my family – – but there’s a structure to it all.
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Leanne,
Sounds like you’ve got it right.
One of the reasons I work from home is so that I’m available, so I understand where you’re coming from.
I used to only see clients at home when my daughter was at school, but now I have on-line clients some evenings, so I’ve taken to posting a sign on my door now too.
Heather x
Hi Heather,
It’s funny… as I sit here working, my son and his friend are downstairs fixing themselves lunch and watching a very loud TV program (open campus high school). Sometimes I can tune them out, other times I end up getting lured into peeking over the stair rail at the TV.
Otherwise, as my kids are teenagers, they’d rather not associate with me and can generally leave me alone during work hours unless they want money. When they learned to drive – woo hoo!! That certainly brought the distractions way down, not having to drive them there and back and there and back.
I still struggle with family members calling me and interrupting my writing flow. Although I don’t wish for the distraction problem on others, it’s nice to know I have company. 🙂
Thanks, Heather.
Peggy
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Hi Peggy
Thanks for sharing this, I know what you mean by ‘it’s nice to know I have company’ – sometimes we work better when we feel we’re part of something. Many WAHMs miss the busyness of an workplace.
Such a shame that you still get interrupted especially when you’re writing – that can be so infuriating. Let us know if you come up with some solutions.
Heather x
I had that same issue when I first started working from home. I suppose we all have at one time or another. For me, a co-worker BOTH stopped working the same day, and decided to start the same business, took training together for 6 months. We lived in different cities and we talked everyday…Eventually we got serious and reduced our time. I have trained my granddaughter how to be when I am in my working mode. She is 8 and now while I work, she get’s her tablet and starts working on her play business as a dress designer and sit side by side. So cute…It takes time, but they all learn to not expect “free” time during the day – 6 years later…Great post
Michelle,
Loved reading your comment.
I was imagining you and your granddaughter side by side ‘working’ – it was very special.
It’s great to give our children boundaries and teach them about work. They can get an insight into different working models and you’re a great role model. She may run her own design company when she’s older. That would be very cool.
Heather x
It’s nice to know I am very much not alone! I am still experiencing this problem, but will definitely be putting the not now but when tactic into practice, although I do love the sign idea!!
It’s not just friends popping in and expecting me to drop work, but I seemed to have turned into some kind of business guru where Facebook friends, mums from the school playground, family and other friends who have business ideas are coming to me for website and business advice, whilst I’d love to help and share my knowledge I simply don’t have the time or sanity to take on more more. I am still battling with this as some people just literally have no idea and keep on nagging me, they think I am just being lazy as they have absolutely no idea how much little ‘spare’ time I have. Rant over!
I totally get it Sarah! Most biz mums I speak to get this too. We’re all seen as experts and I think we’ve become a victim of our own success lol. I set up a mumpreneur support group locally so we could get together and all share tips and experience once a month. The less experienced mums can get lots of support and the more experienced can find other mums who understand what they are trying to achieve. There have been lots of joint ventures and collaborations too, so that’s been wonderful. I hope you find a solution to this challenge and keep your sanity in tact, good luck x